Thoughts Unbound.

None of the two old people told him how they are related. But sometimes the most important expressions come from the most silent gestures.

Now that his thoughts were interrupted, he looked at them. He realized the most basic need. A need which people tend to overlook due to availability. The need of 'Companionship'. He just realized how important a companion can be. In this silent cold place the only companionship two people could sit together. And he. He was sitting alone. No Companion. No complaints. No grudges. No expectations. Really?

If his mind was so free from thoughts then why was he worried about companionship. Why his thoughts were wandering back to his life.. their life..something he never wished to think about and yet thought about with more intensity every time he decided not to.

Not that it was anybody's fault. But sometimes the situation is not right. Its not always necessary for one of the parties to be wrong. But just that their is never a universal truth. He had his. She had her.

He took the last sip from his tea, settled the bill but kept sitting there. His body wanted to rest and his mind was on unrest. He knew the old couple wont ask him to leave. His exploration of the place was disturbed by the thought of lack of companionship.

Not that they were the only couple or anything was so special that invoked his thoughts but looking at their silent togetherness, something moved in him. All the other couples he had seen were younger ones. The ones with options or no options. The ones ready to compromise or not. But here he saw years of togetherness. He had just forgotten why he was here. He came for his stability, his stress busting. He found a storm of thoughts rising within. This is what her thoughts did to him.

Sense of loss comes at its peak when he thinks of her. Not that she was his first love or not that she was love at first sight but she was the one he usually came back to. She was the one who always was open for him. No matter what he did, however reckless he got, however he let his inner kid to come out, she never judged him. She never put conditions. She never had expectations. It was pure love. Only Love.

He got up and started to walk again because he knew that some physical activity might put a rest to his thoughts. This is what he always did. Not giving himself a minute to think. His brain has always played tricks with him. A second free and it took leaps to the places he never wished to.

He again attempted to bound his thoughts. A Failed Attempt. 

In Love.

The door was answered by an elderly lady. She must be in her seventies. A tiny creature. She had a strong face full of wrinkles. Her eyes must have been a little wider in her youth. Now they were laden with wrinkles and seemed drowsy. Their color had turned bluish. Her jawline was strong still but her lips were nothing more than a thin line of skin. She was clad in the typical dress which females in mountains are usually clad in. She wore torn sport shoes which had peepholes at the side probably caused due to overuse. Her thick black socks made a striking contrast with her red shoe.

She looked at him with questioning eyes but didnt utter a word.

He hesitated a bit then asked - "Chai ?"

She raised her hand gesturing him to wait. She turned and made her way back into the small cottage. She reappeared with a man of similar stature and age. He was a wrinkled man wearing a thick woolen jacket and washed out trousers. Again overused shoes with socks lurking from behind. He gave similar inquisitive looks to the young man standing in front of him.

He again hesitantly asked - "Chai ?"

The old man nodded. He turned back and said something to the female in local language. She smiled and walked out toward the bench, crossed it and went to the stove. The old man came out and offered him a bottle of water.

A few sips of water made him breathe stably. The aftereffect of rum combined with his long walk definitely made him feel warm. He was breathing normally now. He had no one to talk to so he quietly waited for the old woman to give him the cup of tea she was now making. He asked the old man if there are any visitors to this place to which he nodded. From the broken hindi dialect of the old man he could gather that the place didnt have many visitors. Only some passers by. It was anyways situated away from the main market and was converted into a commercial property few years back by the owner.

He found the silence most intriguing. He was quietly observing the old couple. The old woman handed him his cup of tea and went inside. The old man kept waiting for him to either order something or ask for a room or settle the bill. He wasnt sure if he could stay there as he had made advance payment to his guest house and he was quite happy with the cold room.

 While sipping his tea he kept looking far. With his dreamy eyes he was thinking of his past few years. The gains. The losses. The friends. The foes. His life. Their life.

When your thoughts are wandering, the best way to control them is scanning your mind and finding the topic where they can sit. Sit for as long as you want. For his thoughts the centrifugal point was "Their Life."

He took another sip of tea. Looking deep into the valley. Feeling the wind on his face. He wish his heart could feel something too. He wish the warmth in his body could be reciprocated by his heart also. His Heart. Why could he not feel it. Why is it that all he can feel is the beating of a human organ which is needed to keep him alive. While he was a teenager he knew that his heart would skip a beat when he will meet his "someone special" and then subsequently it will only beat for the someone special.

His attention was diverted by crackling sound of shoes on bare ground. His thoughts were interrupted which he didnt want. He looked at her and saw her going towards the valley. There was another arrangement of stones and wood which looked like a small bench. The old woman walked upto that and sat their quietly. In a while the old man also joined her which made her body relaxed even though she didnt look at him.

He watched the old couple. Silent. In Love.

Destination

He kept walking towards the hill on the curvy roads of the mountain. He loved all the detailing of the mountains that he saw. The trees, the cold and the silence. He could simply hear the sound of wind against his face and this music was instantly loved by him. To him this walk was like maintaining rhythm with the nature where he just wanted to distract his energies which he managed to a great extent. Now the thoughts in his mind were as cold as his skin. But he was enjoying it. He never wore a wrist watch because he didn't wanted to be bound by anything. So ideally without any estimate of the minutes he employed on walking towards the hill, he was just enjoying this not so lonely, long very long walk.

He was now approaching the hill. The destination that he has set mentally for himself this morning. Although there was nothing very special about it but still he wanted to explore. He wanted to know how lonely places are and what lies beneath. Normally when u walk a long distance, the last few steps are the heaviest. But he didn't feel any heaviness. Although walking on hills was not something he did frequently but he was headstrong and that kept him going.

The building was not a fresh built for sure. It was quite aged. He could see the back of this small house on the hill from a distance and he has been assuming that there wont be many people residing there. Although there was no board but he knew it was some kind of rest house as he could see lights till late in the evening. Towards the road was the face of this building which appeared to him as lonely as himself and the inhabitants of the building. There was a stone which was placed on a set angle to give it a shape of a bench over two other stones. Nearby that stone was a small shed made of rags under which there was a stove and some utensils which have turned black due to overheating on the stove.

He could not see anyone there although but still he thought of exploring the place. He walked to the gate and saw it half opened. He knocked the gate and stood there for a while waiting for someone to respond. For 2 - 3 minutes no one responded. He decided to rest on the stone bench as now he started to feel drowsy due to excessive walking. He placed himself on the bench and took a look around. It was amazingly calm and beautifully cold. Although because of walking and and the rum he consumed sometime back he was not feeling very cold now.

His motel appeared equally beautiful from the distant. Now having been there there was a sense of satisfaction of having achieved something. Although he was still waiting for someone to answer the door.

The Walk

After a 5 minutes walk he was on the highway. He looked at the distant hill and assumed it will take him at least 2 hours to reach there if he decide not to walk very slow. The highway was taking a curve since it was mountains. He kept on walking. He was feeling the cold wind against his face. Although he has tucked his hands in the pockets of his coat but still the chilling wind was cutting his skin in the face.

He decided that after a few minutes of walk and with the impact of the rum he has just had he will be good. The blood will be circulating again. After a walk of half an hour he reached the point where the highway was taking the turn. He saw a very clear picture of the valley from this point. He decided to stay put for a few minutes and just stare into the beauty of this valley.

He always loved mountains. They always reminded him of strength, establishment, adherence and determination. He always went back to the mountains when he wanted to gain back his own stability. And there he was. The valley was stretched under the ridge he was standing at. He was just blankly staring into it. The cold wind was once again cutting the flesh. He took out his hands from the coat. Gradually they started cold again. The man didn't move. He wanted to absorb this cold within himself. He was feeling content. Close to nature. Close to his own self. There were no voices. There was no roaring of vehicles like his own city. His sense of belonging to the place was at its peak.

After a few minutes of standing like this, he started to walk again once again to normalize the flow of blood in his veins. He had to reach to the hill now. Now he decided not to stop anywhere and take up the walk to the hill in single stretch.

It was a very cold day.. sitting in his room his hands were freezing.. he has already had his tea and breakfast.. he had already completed a few pages of the book he was reading.. he was now sitting and looking out of the window.. calmly.. he was trying to absorb the beauty of the mountains with in himself.. the distant peaks of a few mountains were snow covered.. he was planing to pay a visit to them in the next two days.. so he was trying to analyze how far those snow covered peaks would be and how much time it will take him to reach there..he finally decided to ask the care taker if he could take a taxi to that place..

he kept standing like this for a long time.. he was feeling content.. even though he was alone still he was feeling content.. the reason was that he was finally away from everything.. from his super busy city, from his ever cribbing bosses, from his monthly targets and from all the rat race that most of the people in his generation and age were running in..

he had taken this break so that he could actually just relax.. and feel close to nature.. to enjoy every bit of the beauty he would see on the mountains..he was not excited at all when he planned this vacation.. excitement has already abandoned him long back.. he was just content.. in himself.. since he was going to spend some time with himself..

he didnt choose to stay at a luxurious hotel which he could have easily done but he had chosen to live at a very low profile motel with cottages.. this was the place which he instantly knew he was going to stay at.. there were not many people in this motel.. and this was not even situated into the city on the Mall Road like other hotels..neither did the motel manager offered him with any package nor did he tried to market for his motel.. he was as plain as himself.. he just had to be at his own.. at a place where he can calmly sit and talk to himself.. and this place was all he needed.. the rooms were not very big but were comfortable.. he chose the room with a balcony and windows.. although the care taker told him that this room will be cold but he wanted to feel the cold..

and this day it was actually cold..he took out his bottle of rum..made a peg and started sipping.. he was still looking at the mountains.. its been two days that he was here.. and he had spent these two days in isolation.. he daily went out for walks.. saw and admired the scenic beauties and captured most of it in his mind.. this day also he had similar plans.. he wanted to walk.. although he was being suggested by the care taker once again that taking a taxi would be better as he would be tired.. but he wanted to walk.. he told him that if he would not be tired he would not be able to sleep in the night..

last night he was looking at a small hill at some distance from his motel.. he wanted to discover this place as it looked serene from the distance.. there were no four wheelers going to that place but still there were lights in the evening.. the structures made him feel that there will be a small restaurant or atleast some place to rest.. so he was assured that he will be able to take rest there in case he gets too tired and decides to spend some time there..

he knew that today he was going to go to that hill.. he quickly finished his peg of rum burdened his shoulders with a coat, wore the muffler and left.. he stepped out of the motel.. and started walking towards the highway.. he knew he would not be hungry before a few hours now.. so he headed to this place.. he planned to walk his way to this place..